Showing Her How She Should Be Loved
I've been saying it, teaching it, for decades. Men, you have a unique role in the life of your daughter – and, specifically, her future relationships with men.
And now the research is out to back it up, thanks to a study published in the journal Developmental Psychology.
It has now been established that if a dad is detached, or uninvolved, then his daughter will be more promiscuous. Yes, fathers matter that much to the development of their daughters. "If [they] communicated well with their fathers and felt close to them, they experienced much more parental monitoring and hung out far less with sexually risk-prone peers." Going further, "The prolonged presence of a warm and engaged father can buffer girls against early, high-risk sex."
Bottom line?
"It's all about dosage of exposure to dads; the bigger the dose, the more fathering matters…"
Take that into Father's Day.
Literally.
Men, you are the ones making a difference in your daughter's life. You are the ones establishing what conduct, what
I took my daughters out on "dates" and treated them like the princesses they were. I demonstrated how the father/man in their life felt about them,
I lavished physical affection and emotional attention on my daughters. I did not want them to have a man-shaped hole as a result of a distant father whose love they craved. I still can't go too long without draping them in a hug.
I taught my boys to
I worked hard to keep open the lines of communication, particularly as they got older. I would bring them with me on trips, we would sit at Starbucks, I would sit on their beds at night, I would constantly ask questions.
My daughters had a father who was far less than perfect, had more than his fair share of
But I loved them, and they knew it.
I was there for them, and they could count on it.
I would talk with them, and they could talk with me.
They were fathered.
And that can make all the difference in the world.
—
James Emery White
Sources
Melvin Konner, "The Link Between Detached Dads and Risk-Taking Girls," The Wall Street Journal, June 2, 2017, read online.